


( fade out )

by Elendraug



Category: Blood+
Genre: Angst, M/M, No actual sex, Sadstuck, can I label non-homestuck things with sadstuck, just sadness forever, well I'm gonna
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-06
Updated: 2008-01-06
Packaged: 2017-11-09 11:46:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/455076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elendraug/pseuds/Elendraug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"you'll remember me, won't you?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	( fade out )

**Author's Note:**

> This fic felt like it should be written entirely in lowercase.
> 
> MOOD MUSIC: radiohead ♪ street spirit ♫ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7cbmHGnzP4  
> ••••••••••• & moby ♪ the rain falls and the sky shudders ♫ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMO1wekkVtk

the sun is rising over new york city, and it threatens to creep up karman's face if he's not careful. he turns, slowly, and smiles warmly at moses. it's enough to replace the sunwarmed days they've never had.  
"you'll remember me, won't you, moses? I'm so happy to have met you."

he holds his gaze for a long moment, too long, and the sky brightens through the buildings and nearly bathes him in radiation. moses leaps, without thinking, without hesitating, and throws his arms around karman and allows himself to sink to the ground until they're out of harm's way.

"you _idiot_!" he shrieks, desperate and scared and clinging to him because his life depends on it. "I'm going to save you. we'll live on together!" he buries his face into the hood of karman's robe and tries not to sob. "be part of a memory... for you to be nothing more than that..."

he wants to hope, wants to trust, wants to _believe_ that he can save him. he wants to keep fighting, keep living to find a way for them to keep living. each day is another grain of sand slipping down through an hourglass of inevitable death. they're simply running out of time.

they all knew this would happen, but...

crouched beside the concrete, moses cradles karman, shielding him from the sun. if only he could have protected the rest... there has to be a way, there _has_ to—

karman shifts in his embrace, looking up at him through nonfunctional glasses to plead silently for something, _anything_ , nothing. after a silent, still moment, moses leans down and, careful to continue guarding him from the sun, lightly brushes their lips together. karman makes a choking noise and summons the strength to press back, desperate and longing. he's wanted this since he's been aware of his existence, since moses became their unspoken leader, and only now is this wish finally fulfilled. he could cry.

if he wasn't dehydrated and dying, he would.

"moses," he says, somewhere between a whisper and a whimper. impending death is still terrifying, whether or not he's tried to come to terms with it. somehow, they struggle to their feet, shying away from the light that burns their backs and hurrying down into the decrepit apartment.

the room is littered with dusty, rusty nails and slivers of splinters. with the blinds and doors closed, the robes are no longer needed, and can pad the wooden floorboards and soften what remains of their tiny world. lulu is somewhere safe, they're sure; with kai, with saya, with the others of what used to be red shield. this is likely the last chance they'll get to have their first chance.

huddled together, it's not something they've done before; in the weeks months year? years? they've been alive, they've only seen it alluded to in advertisements, in alleyways, but not in actuality. regardless of the real procedure, skin on soft skin is reassuring and warm in the way the sun could never be. crouched and close to karman's chest, moses rests a hand on his cheek, gently taking off his glasses. karman leans back against the wall, moving his knees further apart so moses can be nearer.

he doesn't want them to ever be apart again.

he trails his hand delicately along karman's neck, flinching slightly in sympathy as he feels cracked, cutting, _ceramic_ texture beneath his fingertips. karman recoils, then just as quickly, just as reflexively slides his arms around moses and pulls him into a tight, secure hug.

moses feels safe for the first time in his life.

for the next few seconds, minutes, hours, they simply touch each other. it's such a departure from the violent interaction they're used to; hands were not meant to stroke, hold, heal, only to injure, hurt, kill. it's perhaps more innocent than they would have it be if they knew, but it's pleasant and reassuring on its own. it's an intimacy they've never had.

at some point, moses tugs on the fabric of their robes and draws one or the other from the floor, draping it over them as a heavy blanket as they rest on their sides. though in shade, the room is still summerhot, but the security of being beneath covers is a luxury they've seldom experienced. they savor it.

surrounded by comforting heat, they lie still together in the peaceful darkness in a timid imitation of sleep. they think of life, of each other, the world and what they've learned.

they think of the sunset.

* * *

_be a world child, form a circle  
before we all go under  
and fade out again, and fade out again  
immerse your soul in love._

—radiohead, "street spirit"

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This fic has been illustrated by the incredibly talented [Charxil](http://www.y-gallery.net/user/charxil/) ♥

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